By Violet Burnette The rate of child sexual assault in Alaska is almost six times the national average and the rate of rape in Alaska is 2.5 times the national average.
~~~~~ “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -Robert A. Heinlein ~~~~~ When I was four years old, my younger sister was born into this world. My mom was in the hospital, sweating, exhausted and smiling. I walked over. She told me to, “say ‘hi’ to your baby sister, sweetie.” I looked down, and in her arms, wrapped in a pink blanket, was my lil’ squid, Kirsten. At that moment, I imprinted on her. I felt the responsibility of an older sister, and the duty of a mother to protect her. I smiled, but at the young age of four, I knew what this world could do to a little girl who can’t defend herself. I looked up at my mom and told her I loved her, “I’m excited, mommy” I said. ~~~~~ I remember my dad screaming and yelling at my mom while I was sitting on the floor next to my plastic toy microwave and plastic food. Mom and I were pretending that I was a famous cook and I made meal after meal for her before my dad threw the door open and spit in my mom’s face. His breath reeked of alcohol; mom screamed for me to run into Gramma Annie’s room and lock the door. My dad slapped her and then looked down at me. I looked at my dad, and without thinking, ran to the kitchen counter, grabbed a fork and stabbed my dad in the leg. “Stay away from mommy! I hate you, get away from her!” I yelled. ~~~~~ Before that incident, I was abused by my dad. He was a serious alcoholic, and because of his drinking problem, my mom was never home. She started drinking with her friends, trying to forget all the pain that she was going through. I moved from home to home and stayed with family and friends of family who would look out for me. I remember some of them as nice people. Others were rough, loud, mean and grumpy. One of the families we stayed with during that time had sons. And one of the sons was a teenager who used to pull at my pink skirts. The boy wasn’t a bad person. I remember him as a funny, kind, generous and an all around good kid. Although, I’ve learned that even the nicest of people can be deceiving, or they might seem nice, but have dark intentions. ~~~~~ Approximately two thirds of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. 73% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by a non-stranger, 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance, 28% are committed by intimate partners and 7% by a relative. ~~~~~ When I was in foster care, my friend/roommate and I would make up stories to preoccupy ourselves from boredom. She made up a story of a smiling man, who’d take you away from your loved ones. He’d lock you up and take everything that you cared about away from you. Smiling endlessly. He hid in the shadows and in crooked homes. Taking little girls and returning them to their families, changed forever. She said that the girls were never the same and that Mr. Smiley would poison them with darkness, hurt and pain. She said that he’s everywhere, and you never know when he’ll kidnap you and destroy your life. Ever since, I’ve had an imaginary demon, who slowly disappeared as the years flew by. Until December 5. ~~~~~ I’ve heard that your brain can block out childhood memories that can resurface later in life as you experience new things. When I was taken advantage of on Dec. 5th, 2015, flashbacks occurred and demons surfaced. That day I became 1 of 6 American females who have been a victim of an attempted/completed rape in her lifetime. (14.8% completed rape; 2.8 attempted rape). It was scary, because I always thought that I was strong enough to protect myself and others. But I just froze and couldn’t move and flashbacks kept pouring into my mind. I had the urge to hurt him as others have hurt me. I wanted him to suffer and bleed. But I couldn’t move. It was as if all my childhood years were twisting together to form a contorted smiling man hovering above me, pushing me down. ~~~~~ I think that being a woman is very difficult. So many wonderful, strong, and loving women have suffered similar experiences and have had it demolish their lives. Out of every 100 rapes only 7 lead to arrests. Is it any wonder that there is an increased risk in depression, post traumatic stress, abuse of drugs and alcohol, and contemplated suicide for these women? In one of my classes, students had a huge debate about rape and rapists. The boys said that quite a few girls made up their stories for attention (you have no idea how many times I’ve heard that one). The girls threw up their defense mechanisms and spoke their truths, put up a good argument and slightly changed the boys’ perspective on the topic. The girls knew other people who were raped as well and said that they had troubles and difficulties. Rape is taking a life and replacing it with something darker. So, for all of you reading this, please consider helping or taking it seriously and don’t just assume that it was for attention. ~~~~~ ……………………...Every 107 seconds, another American is sexually assaulted……………………………. ……..Almost 75% if Alaskans have experienced or know someone who has experienced domestic violence or sexual assault………. Statistics from: http://www.staralaska.com/statistics.html
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